| Murphy's Law: | If anything can go wrong, it will. |
| Murphy's Corollary: | Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. |
| Murphy's Corollary: | It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. |
| Murphy's Constant: | Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. |
| Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law: | Everything goes wrong all at once. |
| O'Tooles Commentary: | Murphy was an optimist. |
| Finagle's First Law: | If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. |
| Gumperson's Law: | The probability of anything hapenning is in inverse ratio to its desirability. |
| Rudin's Law: | In crises that force people to choose between alternative courses of action, most people will chose the worst one possible. |
| Commoner's Second Law of Ecology: | Nothing ever goes away. |
| Howe's Law : | Everyone has a scheme that will not work. |
| Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics: | Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can. |
| Ginsberg's Restatement of the three Laws of Thermodynamics: | You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit. |
| Ehrman's Commentary: | Things will get worse before they will get better... Who said things would get better? |
| Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: | Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results. |
| Law of Regressive Achievement: | Last year's was always better. |
| Berra's Second Law: | Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked. |
| The Dumb Luck Rule: | You can always hit what you don't aim at. |
| Maryann's Law: | You can always find what you're not looking for. |
| Rule of Political Promises: | Truth varies. |
| The Salary Axiom: | The pay rise is just large enough to raise your taxes. |
| Parson's Law of Passports: | No one is as ugly as their passport photo. |
| Parks' Law of Taxes: | What goes up, stays up. |
| Schrimpton's Law of Teenage Opportunity: | When opportunity knocks, you've got headphones on. |
| Thom's Law of Marital Bliss: | The length of the marriage is inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding. |
| Law of Lifes Highway: | If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. |
| Young's Law: | All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. |
| Paul's Law: | You can't fall off the floor. |
| Mrs Weiler's Law: | Anything is edible if it's chopped finely enough. |
| Cole's Slaw: | Thinly sliced cabbage. |
| Ralph's Observation: | It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realise that you are in a hurry. |
| Manly's Maxim: | Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. |
| Shaw's Principle: | Build a system that only a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. |
| Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: | There is always one more bug. |
| Anthony's Law of Force: | Don't force it - get a bigger hammer. |
| Cahn's Axiom: | If all else fails, read the instructions. |
| Maier's Law: | If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. |
| Peer's Law: | The solution to the problem changes the problem. |
| Maugham's Thought: | Only a mediocre person is always at his best. |
| Weiler's Law: | Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself. |
| The Whispered Rule: | People will believe anything if you whisper it. |
| Grossman's Misquote: | Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. |
| Conway's Law: | In every organisation, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired. |
| The Pitfalls of Genius: | No boss will keep an employee who is right all the time. |
| Goldwyn's Law of Contracts: | A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. |
| Sevareid's Law: | The chief cause of problems is solutions. |
2: No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
3: Friendly fire ain't.
4: The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
5: The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
8: Incoming fire has the right of way.
1: Any given program, when running is obsolete
2: Any given program costs more and takes longer.
3: If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
4: If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
5: Any program will expand to fill available memory.
6: The value of a program is proportional to the weight of it's output.