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Your Starsystem Star Signs
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ARIES You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically You don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masterbate at a wedding.
TAURUS Warm and caring are you most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply your a neurotic schizophenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of who'd kill themselves to win a bet.
CANCER You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscupulous bastard who who sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on welfare.
VIRGO You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshiting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queer and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
LIBRA You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
SCORPIO You are sharp, a quick thinker and good a puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.
SAGITTARIUS You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.
CAPRICORN You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quite type. A mean self-centred cunt and a closet homosexual. You best friend is probably an alter boy.
AQUARIUS You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
PISCES You are an eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.